I WASNT PLANNING ON DRINKING THIS MUCH BUT FUCK

     im genuinely reprehensible 

     i'm complaining to everyone and no one all at once, empty cries to faceless shadows that continue to manifest and disappear in an instant. i guess that was always the idea ultimately. 

     ill just keep begging and whining on my knees like a pathetic animal until acknowledged and then i'll feel even more like a loser for having been.

    i feel like a worthless dog begging for the bare minimum amount of attention out of anyone in my fucking life.

    I think I miss the struggle of it all, funny to say after all the bullshit I went though. At least it gave me some sort of purpose, I felt accomplished after the fact, I don't fucking know lol I can't win regardless.

     It feels like the sun only comes out to mock me.

     I dreamed about you again last night, bittersweet on the tongue like a piece of dark chocolate and a lukewarm cup of coffee.