I wonder how they'll see me in a casket, i wonder how they'll treat me. I wonder what they'll say, what they'll recollect, what they'll think about. 

     I'd love to just ride away from it all, just take off to nowhere and never return. I miss that sense of adventure. I wanna feel the wind in my hair, the world behind me, only going forward forever and ever.

    jerking off on amphetamines is not the move

     I WASNT PLANNING ON DRINKING THIS MUCH BUT FUCK

     im genuinely reprehensible 

     i'm complaining to everyone and no one all at once, empty cries to faceless shadows that continue to manifest and disappear in an instant. i guess that was always the idea ultimately. 

     ill just keep begging and whining on my knees like a pathetic animal until acknowledged and then i'll feel even more like a loser for having been.