The years 2018, I walk home from my shift at the college Starbucks with a lit cigarette hanging from between my stained fingers. The crisp winter air slices my cheeks up like daggers as I take syncopated drags off that sweet smoky Marlboro

 i think my ex killed herself and i dont know how to process it

 if i'd have any last words it'd be "it wasn't intentional but i'm happy anyways"

 happy fucking thanksgiving lol

 im such a mess

 i love venting here because i know for a fact she'll never bother to read any of it lol

Spirits

 You're a ghost haunting every fiber of my being. You cloud my mind 24/7, every memory we've ever had, good or bad. I spend every waking moment of my life trying to distract myself from you, trying to move on with this pathetic presentation of a life that I lead, yet nothing I do can remedy this pestilence. I'm hooked on the past like flies to rotting meat, and that's all our past is now, putrid rotting flesh. Don't get me wrong, I know I deserve your scorn, I doubt I'm even the faintest thought in your mind anymore, and I'm glad that you can move on from it all, I'm glad that you function better without me... So why can't I do the same.