Feels like every decent moment of my life is loomed over by a terrible shadow waiting to consume me. I haven't felt true peace in forever. I wanna feel like things are looking up but it's impossible because my paranoia is always proven right, every fucking time. I've had so many nice moments of my life ruined in an instant and I just don't know what the fuck to do. I can never let my guard down. I can never relax. It hurts to smile knowing I'll have it wiped off my face soon after. It hurts so much. There was a time when I felt that maybe I wasn't alone but it's seeming more and more like I am.
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