Broken but for the better.

    I've spent the last few months juggling heartbreak with a dead end job and numerous bills. I like to think I'm in a good spot now all things considered, got a better job with better working conditions, full forty hours a week, finally making some disposable income, and yet the past continues to wrap it's cold hands tightly around my neck. I continue to grow more jaded and weary each passing day. I know I only have the future to look forward too but the "what if's" burrow into my flesh like disgusting insects giving birth to resentment and bitterness. I'm fighting, I really am, even if I don't know what I'm fighting for exactly. I wanna say happiness, but it's hard to imagine happiness as anything but a sweet fleeting experience anymore. I don't think I'll ever truly be happy at the very core of things, I was born to struggle. But sometimes the struggle makes the cake taste sweeter, so I guess that's what I'm fighting for.